| |
| Will the Real You Please Stand Up?
By Sandy ThibaultHonesty is one of the building blocks of our character and defines our integrity. It is an attribute we look for in our relationships, in our community and world leaders. Most people are in agreement that honesty is something we admire and hold close to our hearts.
I recently read about a survey that dealt with telling the truth. There were questions like, when is it alright to lie? Is it ok to tell a white lie? Is it ok to keep the truth from someone to protect them?
As much as we prize telling the truth we all know there are rules that govern the action itself. Most of us have been guilty on occasion of telling a straight out lie, but mostly I believe when we chose not to tell the truth, it is to spare the feelings of another.
That is the exact reason we don’t tell the truth to ourselves either; we want to spare our own feelings. We tell ourselves stories that cover our discomfort so we can move on, never having to look at the truth, until the next time. When the next time comes, we again have to choose to tell the truth, or not.
I used to think that I had to put on one face for family and friends, and another for work and on and on. I would project into the world what I thought they wanted to hear and followed a set a rules that defined who the world thought I should be. I had built quite a story around why this was important; all based on fear that the real me was not good enough. This door swung both ways, fear of not be good enough and the fear that maybe I was good enough.
Several years ago, an incident occurred in my life that made me stand up and take notice. I was most certainly caught off guard by this call to tell the truth, good and bad, about who I was.
Each time we cover how we really feel, it is as if we are shoving one more thing into the closet. At first, we do this almost without notice, but soon it gets harder and harder and we feel guilty about what we have stuffed into the closet. Soon our closet is so full, that the task just seems insurmountable. The hardest part of looking inside this closet is just getting started.
Granted, telling the truth to ourselves and others, takes love, compassion and understanding. Sometimes this is called, telling the truth with love. The first and only place to start is with ourselves. It starts with being honest about how we feel and what we want in our life. It means being unwilling to put even one more thing into our closet of unresolved things.
Many, many years ago there was a program on television called, To Tell the Truth. In the show, 3 contestants would pretend to be someone they were not. There were also four panelists asking questions, trying to discern their true identity. At the end of the show the announcer would say “Will the real…please stand up. The contestants would be hesitant, not sure they really wanted to stand up and claim who they were. Finally, one person would stand up and claim their identity and the audience would applaud.
This show is not so much different than how real life often is. Sometimes our interactions with ourselves and others can feel like a game. Each of us can choose if we are going to play the game of truth.
If we feel that honesty is really a foundation piece to what we believe, then the time is now to practice telling the truth and it starts in the heart of each one of us. We need to stake claim to who we are; the undesirable as well as the desirable. We should do this not only for ourselves but for the integrity of our relationships, our community and for the world. In this moment in your life are you willing to stand up and claim who you are?
Knowing in so doing, the truth will set us all free and the world will applaud our authenticity.
Sandy Thibault is a Transformational Life Coach and business partner in Burnsville Counseling and Healing Center and co-founder in the Institute for Peace and Joy. For more information on life coaching or to set up a free consultation call
952-435-4144.
This article first appeared in Stressfree Living magazine. | |
